“Where love is, there God is also.” ~ Gandhi
Like most everyone, I’ve had my share of both great and nasty bosses. In my storied career, I remember having one boss who would scream whenever she was displeased about something. We would all cringe at her rants, perpetually feeling like we were skating on ice because we never knew when her angry bomb would go off. I had a co-worker who was deeply affected by these rants when aimed at her, which only decreased her self worth. Although I never took my boss’ wrath personally, because I knew it was a reflection of her own unhappiness, needless to say, it was a very unpleasant work environment, so I didn’t last very long on the job.
I can certainly understand why we give so much power to our bosses because to a large extent we feel that they have control over our financial livelihood, and no matter how much we rationalize, we all want approval from others, as we never rejoice in receiving a bad review or being criticized by others. Due to a dysfunctional need to please, we do not just confine our bosses to our jobs, but we turn our parents and friends into bosses as well. Rick Warren, in the Purpose Driven Life, says that one of the main reasons why we miss our purpose in life is because we are too busy people pleasing. In pleasing others, we can never discover our own inner talents to use it to serve the higher good of this Universe, which is the ultimate purpose of our existence.
In order to find our true calling, we must shed any notion of a human boss and know that we only ever have one true boss: our almighty God. As a child, I made my parents my boss, so trying to please them was my goal. After some years of struggling to fulfill their dreams, I knew that I would never please them and, above all else, myself, because I would never be happy living someone else’s life. In making my parents my boss, I knew that I would never find myself. Through pain, I came to an enlightening realization that in order to live a fulfilling life, I would have to stop pleasing my parents and place God on my pedestal. With this shift, I knew that my faith and connection to God would deepen, which is when I would have the possibility of truly finding myself.
When we make our God our only boss, we live in the natural flow of life. We do not have the “need” to please, so our unhealthy attachments to people and what we call superficial “love” — just our clingy co-dependencies — are released. Any love based on neediness is not true love, just dysfunction, because in “needy” love, we place expectations on others, and when those expectations are not met, which is almost guaranteed, we suffer. When we report to God only, our expectations on others dissolve and our love becomes unconditional, which is the state of true love. In this magical realm of real love, we can let go of others at anytime, knowing that love will never leave us. Our desire to please others is not based on a “need to please,” but rather an organic expression of our higher selves in coming together. When we join with our lovers, we unite to have a deeper connection to God. Like two peas in a pod, our love comes together organically to serve a higher purpose.
Not only do we make the people in our lives our boss, but we even extend our mental boss to the the nasty habits we adopt. Any unhealthy habits or addictions, like drugs or alcohol where we make it our number one priority, also become our boss. I met a woman named Carol, a devout Catholic, who used to be a chain smoker. One day in her living room, as she was picking up a cigarette, she heard a distinctive voice, which she described as coming from a divine place. The voice said, “You don’t need me because you have your God,” referring to her cigarette as God. She attributed the voice to that of Jesus Christ. After that day, she quit smoking cold turkey. Whether you believe in Carol’s story or not, we can all agree that when you make any type of addiction, like drugs or alcohol or even money, your number one priority, it becomes your boss or “God” because your only concern is to service that addiction, which is why people are willing to commit criminal activity to fulfill that “fix.”
The real damage in making people or any addiction our boss is really to ourselves. When we become slaves to people and things, we give away our own power. The more we please others, the more we move away from discovering and knowing the treasures within ourselves. When we depart from ourselves, we increasingly lose our self worth, which is when we make compromising decisions, finding our lives slipping through our fingers quickly. By placing only God on our worship mantel, we are in touch with ourselves at the highest level, so our inner confidence is unshakable, which allows us to walk away from anyone or situation that does not serve our real purpose in life. And, even more wonderful, we feel so safe, like in a mother’s womb, because we know that ultimately all will be well in our lives. With God as our boss, we know that when one door closes, a better one will open, and the next chapter in our lives will be more rewarding beyond anything we can imagine. As God is not judgmental and will never be the boss that keeps rating cards on our performance, we can accept and embrace every part of ourselves — both our strengths and weaknesses — which make us distinctly unique and interesting. Most importantly, we are comfortable in our own skin, so our need to please just sheds organically.
The most powerful force in reporting to God only is that we are guided by our highest moral compass, driving us to serve a much higher good. In this spiritual process, we naturally become leaders, who will inspire others because our desire becomes one of giving, rather than receiving, so we our serving our fellow humans on a genuine level. Deepak Chopra said, “enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma but as the dome of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion.” In our serve mode, we can effect real change in the world because we are naturally solving global problems like hunger, poverty, wars, etc.
The greatest joy I found in making God my only boss is that I know that love will always stay with me regardless of what is happening in my life. To feel and know love 24/7 is the most precious gift, because, at the end of that day, we are all seeking eternal love. Our biggest fear is the lack of love and that love will leave us anytime. It is delusional to believe that true love comes from others; our love tank is only full when it comes from within ourselves because it is only when we love ourselves, we have the possibility of giving and receiving love from others and this Universe. Joel Osteen, the popular televangelist, said, “If you don’t love yourself in the right way, you can’t love your neighbor.” The only path to genuine love within ourselves is by tapping into our higher Being through our divine God. So every time we make other people or addictions our boss, we dilute, drop by drop, the ocean of love within ourselves until we have no more. True and everlasting love can only be guaranteed by the higher powers, which is why we must make God — and only God — our boss.
Any person or addiction we make as our boss is just an illusion, because God is our true and only boss who has the power to give eternal love. So if you have any person or thing as your boss in your life, turn in your pink slip today and start fresh tomorrow by reporting to our one and only true boss: our almighty God, who will love and cherish us unconditionally.
By Moon Cho, Creator of Ying & Yang Living
