How to Walk Away with Self Worth
“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama
A few months ago, I made a hard decision to leave a business opportunity. Afterwards, I questioned myself, whether I had made the right decision. As I was browsing through Google + a couple of days later, I found this amazing quote, which brought me such clarity and peace:
“Sometimes, walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.”
This message, which was in my deep subconscious all along, was my very reason for walking away. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, knew that I so needed this message to bring me back to my truth, letting me know that I had made the right decision and re-assuring me that I can say “no” a million times before there is the right “yes.”
Too often, we make bad choices in our lives because we are driven by the negativity of fear and low self worth. It so breaks my heart in a deep way to witness this because I know that our life paths could have been so much brighter and happier.
Decisions based on fear and low esteem block our own manifestations of greatness by compromising who we truly are and our purpose in this life. God has created each and every one of us with such unique and wonderful gifts, but we never realize them because of our fear and self worth issues get in the way.
Whenever I provide advice, especially to our youth who are the future stewards of this precious world, I always tell them to make their decisions based on confidence, not fear. In my own family, my siblings and I were raised with a lack of confidence, so we made many bad decisions leading to divorce, wrong careers, and as extreme as the death of my sister Sun, who passed away of cancer due to unhappiness.
When you make choices based on fear and low self worth, you are betraying yourself and settling, which is what I call the “Mediocre Life” — a life in which you are neither inspired nor motivated. Tony Robbins, the great life coach, says, “people are not lazy, they are just not motivated.” We all have an inner engine that can fire up if we can just find what motivates us, and I believe we become truly motivated when we find our purpose in life.
So how do we realize our self worth so we can discover our true calling? The best way to gain inner confidence and find the truth about ourselves is through our own faith by connecting to the divine energies of this Universe. These energies, which many call God, are pulsating in and around us all the time, and it is when we decide to tap and connect to them that we can begin to feel and know our true selves. When the truth speaks in your heart, you know what to do, so you don’t make bad decisions. People like Steve Jobs and Oprah operate on such a level, which is why they inspired so many others and their businesses thrived. Each and every one of us can thrive just as high if we allow ourselves to be open and connect. The Buddha meditated for 6 years to connect to these spiritual energies, and when he reached Enlightenment, he melded with the Universe, becoming One with it and realizing that our happiness is already in the here and now. What an enlightening secret that our happiness already exists.
On a practical level, how can we determine whether fear or confidence is speaking? Fear speaks when you feel tense, stressed and anxiety ridden. In such times, refrain from making a decision because you will likely make the wrong one. In confidence, our mind and soul are peaceful, which is when your heart speaks revealing the truth. You must calm your mind, which the body will naturally follow, and then you will just feel — not think — in every cell of your being and know what is right for you. Feeling, not thinking, is your powerful resource, which is what we often call that “gut” or intuition.
Mother Teresa, my spiritual icon, says in her prayer book, “God is a friend of stillness.” So, if you want to speak to God to find the right answers, still the mind through prayer or meditation. If life gets enormously hectic with children, spouse, work, etc., then make sure to find some time alone each day for reflection, even it it’s just for 20 minutes. The Dalai Lama says that it is important to spend some time alone every day because, like our bodies that need sleep and rest to rejuvenate, our mind and souls need the same in order to have clarity so we can optimally navigate to make the best choices. Because our happiness gage is based on the decisions we make every second and day of our lives, we must take care of our minds to measure the gage correctly.
Beyond our self serving desire for happiness, the Dalai Lama says that if you gain confidence within yourself, you can change the world. By harboring self confidence, we can then transmit that positive energy into the world so others can feel and embrace it within themselves, collectively changing the harmony of the world we all share and call home. What a powerful and inspiring message that each of us can make a real impact in this world!
So when you gain self confidence by connecting and having faith in this Universe, you can walk away as many times as necessary, knowing that the right opportunity will present itself in the future, and, when it does, you will say “YES” with confidence and your head up high. Now that’s what I call living a truly Magical — not a mediocre — Life!
By Moon Cho, Creator of Ying & Yang Living